Alicia and Rhonda's Updates about Connor

RHONDA’ S UPDATE

Dear Ones,

If this journey has taught me anything, it is that life can change in an instant. Don’t waste a moment harboring resentments or trapped by anger and frustration. Acknowledge those feeling fully or they will revisit, and then choose the quality you want for the next present moment, for it is all you truly have. That is the power of NOW.

Alicia and Steve may feel cumbersome as they maneuver Connor’s path from fever-to-fever and from rash-to-feeding tube mishap, but indeed I see them being guided, willing to adapt to what is, and walking in grace. Steve is strong enough to accept guidance from Alicia, bending with her needs. He willingly gets up with Carson at night and soothes Connor with such tenderness and love. Alicia is so patient, and yet firm. She pulls inside to regroup after each seeming assault of unexpected circumstances, and then like a rock climber she reaches for her next grip. She remembers her foremost intention is to have a healthy son. That re-calibrates everything and somehow it allows her to set her sights on any silver lining she can find. Then, she insists that everyone around her do the same. We have all learned to dance together amazingly well and any upset slides off as if wearing a Teflon raincoat.

This is truly a journey where the next step doesn’t appear until you step (or are sometimes feel pushed) off the cliff. With each breath you are faced with a new choice point… do I give up, or do I live fully. Do I want to be right, or happy?

On Saturday of last weekend’s domino of events the reluctant sun of the Northwest was out and shining bright. Connor was curled up on the couch, very unhappy and withdrawn because of not feeling well and depressed by the upset from the feeding tube. How hard it had been on Friday for Alicia and Steve to hold this little guy down while awake for this uncomfortable and frightening procedure of shoving a tube down his nose.

Alicia has become a master of realizing the importance of milking joy from every opportunity. She motivated us all to get in the van and head for the La Connor Tullip Festival in a near by community. She felt that if Connor would feel lethargic no matter where we were, we might as well tuck him and his brother,