Beautiful People Do Not Just Happen


Some people resist the hard stuff and attach firmly to their ‘comfort zone.’ They learn that control is only an illusion and comfort is not sustainable. It’s a nice place for a breather, but life does not stand still. Scrapped knees are unavoidable. They lead to the powerful stories that shape the deepest meaning of our life.


Though my heart-felt choices seldom make linear sense, I say ‘yes’ as consciously as I can, open to learning the hard way when I must  about when and where I could have course-corrected toward better self-care.

It’s notable how our greatest gift can also be our greatest obstacle and learning opportunity. It is important to remember that we cannot fail. Either decision will provide access to the the spiritual nudge we need.


Whether I choose wisely or fall flat on my face. it provides an invitation to learn a new or refine an old lesson. I always learn something. So, I can’t lose. To me, there is great value in learning how to walk in the dark, or find my way in uncharted territory.

There are always hidden bitter-sweet treasures buried amidst heartache and challenges, regardless of the outcome. So, I wait and listen as best I can. I choose as consciously as I know how to lean into each opportunity with my heart fully open, trusting that the unknowns of each adventure are there to grow me. I love as deeply as I can.

Those too attached to their ‘comfort zone’ tend to find the road bumpy as they react to the ‘little stuff’ as if it is ‘big stuff.’ With undeveloped resilience, they totally crumble amidst the uncertain twists and turns when facing the ‘big stuff.’ Although it is never easy to maneuver, practicing allows us to develop skills along the way.

There definitely is ‘big stuff.’ It can easily feel like we are under one gigantic black cloud. It is so easy to slip into despair, and far more important that we look for the helpers and hidden blessings.

What’s your big stuff?

Here’s mine…

Five friends facing brain cancer, some still here, some not, some young, some not.Four friends recovering from open heart surgery for one reason or another.

Four friends currently walking their path with breast cancer, attempting to make the best choices they can, with fear knocking at their door as the clock ticks loud.


A 12-year-old friend of my 15-year-old grand-nephew, who together as toddlers overlapped on a crazy journey with cancer. My grand-nephew is still very present feeling survivor’s guilt, however his courageous friend passed recently after enduring relapse after relapse.


My own daughter and son-in-law are facing the big challenges that come with raising a 13-year-old-autistic son experiencing the impact of Tourette’s, puberty, and aggression, also concerned about his devoted little sister also trying to make sense of the unpredictable highs and lows. So much hoop-jumping to get help from a system that doesn’t believe in being pre-emptive.

And the flu leveled me for awhile. Try as I might to help others or myself, every hair on my body ached. Fortunately I bounced back without complications, but I had no energy, and my chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it for weeks. Usually the one familiar with giving, I had no alternative other than to rest and to receive.

Small stuff’ in comparison, and still the ‘small stuff’ clamors for attention and drags us down. I could do nothing more than surrender, and did my best to learn whatever lessons were disguised in the process.

I am not alone. Everyone has their list of ‘big’ and ‘small’ stuff.


We whisper in one another’s ear the reminder that we are stronger than we think, and eventually we stand stronger and wiser than before.

Vulnerability is courage.

Love is the healing balm.

Life is an eternal adventure, and we are blessed when we understand that we need not travel alone.

Join me in daring to make every moment a keepsake moment, even the messy ones.

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