At times I still can be tempted to detour from my own happiness and clarity about what I want by my attempts to create joy for others. For me, they are so closely woven together. I truly love making a difference and bringing joy. It is one of the greatest inheritances I received from my dad, the genuine enjoyment derived from creating experiences that prompt joy for others. My dad would absolutely take delight in knowing that he had facilitated a magical experience to make someone else’s life easier. For him as well as for me it is not about expecting anything in return. His gifts were often done anonymously. His fulfillment came from seeing others truly happy.
Somewhere along the way my well-being got wrapped around and dependent upon making others happy in order to be happy myself. On occasion it still is my unconscious default to fall back into the belief that I have failed if I disappoint someone or if what I do does not result in their happiness. I more consistently catch myself, and I have given permission to dear ones in my life to awaken me when I slip into my old false beliefs. In my more conscious moments I know it is my own choice and responsibility to be happy, detached from the prerequisite of making another happy to prove my worth.