The older I get the more I become aware that there are fewer years ahead of me than behind me. No gloom and doom about it. Fortunately, if I were to transition tomorrow, I have no regrets about the journey thus far. Even the bumpy parts.
I have lived an amazing life and have done my best to consciously seize opportunities for adventures and have cultivated deep connections along the way. that have added meaning to my life. Because I realize happiness is my choice I have become much quicker to forgive, even myself. I have gained enough insight to know that I would much rather be happy than right.
Living wholeheartedly is my priority, mistakes and all. I now dare to let me heart guide my life, compassionately guiding my mind and body in a playful and meaningful way.
I do my best not to fall back into the hole of allowing my mind to bully and push my body and soul forward by overthinking and attempting to control every step.
Freedom from old limiting beliefs and self-imposed pain are what motivate the choices I make, and so I make every effort to me mindful of the thoughts I choose which shape my NOW, and thus create the quality of my future.
I am aware of how very blessed I am. My heart feeling filled with gratitude, rather than judgments, makes it easier to loosen my grip on life and allows me to savor every moment.
Judgments chance away joy… they chase away life itself. I know far too many people that are still breathing, but not really living, because they are so caught in the grips of old patters and so accustomed to forcing life to be the way they think it should be.
I have shown up as best I as I have known how in any given moment, and am loved by many wonderful people. I allow myself to feel this. I do not take this for granted, and do my best to return the love shared authentically. Life is not only about giving, but receiving with integrity.
I still have fresh dreams and lean into love as the means to fulfill them, and most of the time I find the way to make each moment matter, even the challenging ones. I am determined to reveal joy even there. I feel free regardless of the circumstances when I know that even amidst challenging and messy times, love and miracles are evident.
Human life in this one precious go-around is finite, and that is just a fact, because unless there is a scientific breakthrough in the very near future, the human form of life starts with an inhale and ends with an exhale.
And after that no one really knows for sure. Some think we do. At age 17 I had a near death experience that gives me a sense of knowing life doesn’t end here and love is all there is. I have had other curious signs ‘from the other side’ that nudge me to see that our human way of life is limited. Energy is boundless, limitless, and connects us all. And, then there is faith. I have that too, and most of the time I remember to put my faith in love rather than fear.
Now, how I think about all of this is what determines the quality of my life, and so it all becomes easier when attune my eyes to see that NOW is the only moment we have, even when we do travel on into infinity.
So what do I want to do NOW…. and most important, who do I want to BE while I do what I do NOW.
Ever aware that my hair is gray, my body isn’t as flexible as it used to be, and even if I live (hopefully with quality rather than quantity) another 30 years, I want to remain curious, open, question everything, love deeply, forgive quickly, play more often, be of service in simple ways, know I am enough, and share my prosperity with an appreciation that we are all one. More than anything I want to be REAL.
“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’
‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.
‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’
‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’
‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
? Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit