A huge part of learning to love yourself as much as you love others it to learn the distinction between serving and fixing.
I have been pondering this, and the importance of kindness in the process, always attempting to implement it as the filter through which I make all my decisions. When life is so complex and changing at such a rapid and unpredictable pace, I have found kindness to be a reassuring and bountiful way to guide me which allows me to move amidst circumstances with greater calm.
And, although I have been busy in multiple ways to attempt to make a difference, somehow a shift has happened in me. I have slowed to the point that I can more consistently remember that it is in small ways that we can, do and will change the world, one act of random kindness at a time. When there are lots of things rattling to predict gloom and doom, I witness with renewed faith that more and more people are shifting the quality of their consciousness, choosing connection and good cheer rather than focusing on the negative.
We often attempt to ‘fix’ as our way of being kind. With a closer exploration of my good intentions that trigger my attempts to ‘fix’ something or someone, as I look more honestly and willingly, I realize that ‘fixing’ is a clever disguise for ‘controlling’. Although I may have suspicions and hopes, I never truly know what is best for another and in my attempt to ‘control’ I diffuse the opportunity for the strength and wisdom of another to emerge. To refine my good intentions I have been hesitating a bit longer and upon approach to situations I ask more authentically how I can serve, and empower most the one I serve.
So what does it mean to serve, to help, assist or offer a favor to the benefit of another without expecting anything in return? To me it is a radical shift we are all experiencing in between the cracks. It is the shift from ‘me’ to ‘we’.
You discover that in service there is abundance. In giving you receive. You feel joy rather than strive for it and have expanded site to see that the important things you have to offer are often not things at all. You tap into the full range of resources and gifts at your disposal — your time, presence, attention — and recognize that the ability to give stems from a state of mind and heart, not just from the material things you have to share. You feel at your core the importance of what comes from deeper within. Inspired by the possibilities this opens up in every moment, you begin to discover humble, simple random acts of kindness ways and opportunities to serve — everywhere.
When your gift to another becomes as much a gift to yourself, gratitude becomes the foundation for your service. It reproduces rapidly and is contagious. When you acknowledge, feel and celebrate the fullness of your life, service in any situation calls you forward not only when we have something to give , but also expands most naturally when we have nothing left to take and leave any expectations at the door. This is a free and powerful place to be.
Service is transformation. It is the shift that is upon us if we claim our vital part in it. It is the pure form of being self-centered… centered within enough to know that we are all connected, so as you do for another you do for yourself. When we increasingly choose to remain open and willing to serve, we start to see new things and dance in the feeling of synergy that connects us all in a way bigger than what our human minds can grasp.
Simple small ways, that’s all it takes. Adding a dash of heart to the true meaning of being of service brings happiness… and most important, it rebuilds the foundation for self-love.